I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
