Your face is a jimmy john
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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