It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
