everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
