she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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