I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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