somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
