I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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