who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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