my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Come on in and take your pants off
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