I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
