I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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