guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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