best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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