A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
