I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
