I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
