So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
