The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
