But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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