It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
