Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
only if we run a train.
done.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
