Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
