I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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