My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We have started to decorate penises.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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