Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize