I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
