I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this will be a night to untag.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
So much rum. So many feels.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
