i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
