It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize