She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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