I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
3pm strippers are depressing
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize