I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
