ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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