Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
