as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize