im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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