I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
