remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
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You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
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He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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