I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize