I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
