I am spending my child support on dildos
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
