I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
