Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize