I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
