Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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