Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
