I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
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He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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