Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize