I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
