Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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