Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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