I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
