They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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