I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
When are your genitals available?
Randomize
