halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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