38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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