i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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