they need to just BURY HIM!
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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