so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
