She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
