When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
