I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need to calm my uterus...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
