The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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