this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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