definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
