either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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