porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
