My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she peed on how many people?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize