with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
